The image is less revolting than what it’s describing, I swear

Lately everyone has been reading in the newspaper about how newspapers are dying. Or maybe everyone is reading about it online, which is the problem.

But other than people employed by newspapers, who really cares, or should? They had a good 300-year run in this country. Why be greedy and push for more?

Continue reading The image is less revolting than what it’s describing, I swear

On Valentine’s Day, love and restraining orders were in the air

I had to work all evening on Valentine’s Day, which is just as well because I didn’t have a date to take anywhere anyway.

Misery loves company, so I should have been comforted at work knowing my coworkers were the same as I, either loveless or kept from love.

One of them in particular, seemed to be taking the whole night pretty rough, and Jay, we’ll call him that, subjected the rest of us to about eight solid hours of whining, sniveling and muffled sobbing. Finally to shut him up, I said that after work we’d both go to a bar and drink until we forgot what today was. He reluctantly agreed and told me I’d be driving.

Continue reading On Valentine’s Day, love and restraining orders were in the air

There are worse things than being the world’s biggest celebrity

During last autumn’s presidential campaign, John McCain ran ads calling Barack Obama the “biggest celebrity in the world” and meant it as an insult – which coming from a senator who’d hosted “Saturday Night Live” and from a ticket that eventually included Sarah Palin, was a bit hypocritical.

But largely accurate. Already Obama seems to have appeared on “Entertainment Tonight” more than Bush 43 ever did; we care about the present Obama’s wife bought and the outfits his daughters wore, even how his daughter reacted when she met other celebrities. We didn’t know FDR was crippled, but we know Obama drives to the left to get to the basket.

Secret Service agents with orders to shoot-to-kill are the only thing keeping paparazzi away.

Continue reading There are worse things than being the world’s biggest celebrity

The weekend’s most important sport event didn’t involve a bowl

I spend a lot of time putting together these weekly columns. Days, sometimes weeks of walking to and from lunch, kicking rocks down the street. Hours scribbling in various notebooks, then a night getting all of them together and typed into a computer file.

There’s a lot of writing, a little praying and great weeping and gnashing of teeth involved before I finally fall asleep sobbing and wake up to remember it still isn’t finished, and I’ve got to stay at work until it at least looks like it is.

So in the middle of all of this, writing a column about politicians and celebrity, I noticed the Australian Open final was about to start, (1) Rafael Nadal vs. (2) Roger Federer. I’m not a tennis fan in any way whatsoever. The sport bores me, especially when it doesn’t involve women I can objectify.

Continue reading The weekend’s most important sport event didn’t involve a bowl